Friday, December 17, 2010

the past...

...2 days, i have been in what you could call "a funk."


here are my symptoms:

emotional (and i am not expecting a visit from aunt flow, in fact, she came last week and i was actually in a pleasant mood. which is rare.)

not only am i emotional, but i have had several melt downs (okay, maybe those 2 are the same thing but i don't often have melt downs)

irregular eating habits, hardly an appetite at all

extra anti-social, because we all know i am slightly anti-social to begin with

i want to talk about my feelings... and that's just plain abnormal



here are the possible reasons:

i am "in like" with someone, and our situation is rather complicated and mutual feelings are unknown to me... i hate that part

i spent too much time with too many children (that i love dearly!!!!) and am concerned that i will never have a family of my own that i long for

i was informed of things that make me sad, like selfish choices people have made that they think only affect them but actually affect everyone around them

i think subconsciously i am missing my dad, especially this time of year, i hardly think of how his absence affects my life anymore... i have become numb... it's unhealthy, i know


now that i think of it... it's probably a combination of all of these things -- i feel like my life is going nowhere fast -- and i'm scared

however i am grateful for the supports i have in my life, i'll find a way out of this mess